Breasts In Videogames

Knockers, Ta-tas, Juggies, Boobs, Sweater Puppets, Fun Bags

Oh good, now that I've got your full attention, in honor of October being Breast Cancer Awareness Month I thought it would be a good opportunity to tackle a sensitive issue once and for all- the over-hyped use of breasts in videogames. Now before you all start moaning and groaning don't worry I'm not going to get all preachy or after school special on you.

Be they human, elf, or demon, boobs and video games pretty much go together like peanut butter and jelly.

1.) First off do female video game characters, as sexy as they are really turn men on in some kind of deeply disturbing way?

2.) Can Lara Croft really swing on vines and do acrobatics with those D Cups?

3.) Don't you find it a bit odd that your warrior princess character is trekking through relentless snow and icy weather with only two-bit clothing on?

4.) Did Victoria's Secret come out with a new line of Push up Plate Armor with matching panties, garter belt and shiny stockings recently or something?

5.) Why do they are they so bouncy anyway? They wiggle; they jiggle and are so Jell-O like at times they often bounce by themselves. It's mesmerizing to look at, but real breasts just don't jiggle like that!

6.) What better way to fight an enemy than to expose your dirty pillows to harm them! Works for me every time. (Wink)Wink

For the record I'm not a hater, I'm just trying to keep it real. I've never been one to complain about our culture's obsession with perfect beauty, or to worry that video games will normalize plastic surgery in an already image obsessed society. You won't hear me ranting against well endowed female characters any time soon- I promise.

I personally find the exaggerated size of video game vixen's assets laughable.

It's all bustin' out here

Breasts In Videogames

Comments

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DeRosa 2007-10-12 21:56:39

Boobs.

MRat 2007-10-12 22:50:33

Now, I realize you are a woman, and have plenty of breast experience. However, I would love to offer to my own insight into just have jiggly real breasts are. Ok so they don't bounce of their own accord. That's one down. But jell-o-esque? To me, certainly. Just run a Google search of Jiggly breasts, and I'm sure you can find a video of a woman with natural breasts running while her chest cushions heave up and down and up and down with such momentum you're sure they'll come right off.

False breasts, however, hardly move at all. Or at least it seems so to me.

Oh, and please don't say, "Well I'm a woman, so I would obviously know a little more than you!" Because unless you are "endowed," or more aptly cursed, with gargantuan combersome breasts, I'm not entirely sure you would.

That said, my final comment. Please don't be offended, I'm just trying to point out what seems like a fact to me.

Maybe I've just known jiggly ladies all my life, though.

dark-wolf-5 2007-10-12 23:24:28

hehe... boobies

Stamper 2007-10-13 00:25:01

The only thing this post made me wanna do is find some pictures of tits ASAP and get to jacking. Jacking, and jacking HARD. I'm gonna beat my dick like a slave tonight, no joke, and it's all thanks to the spark you dropped to start my manly fire.

TTFN, N

Dazmi 2007-10-13 00:54:53

Men are Sexualized as much as women are.

Ever see a fat, geeky character as the player? I havent!

Fishhooks 2007-10-13 02:18:26

1. Yes, but hey it's just the same as these steriod pumped main characters for males (see Duke Nukem there).
2. Sure, but IRL she'd probably have bigger arm, shoulder, and back muscles to help support such athletic endeavors. She's a bit skinny to have that strength in the games.
3. Yes she needs a skin tight metal plate (+10 armor). You better go back to that last town and buy some or you won't last long against those ice elementals.
4. No but the game designer did, go figure.
5. Ssshhhh, young boys, the target market, don't know that. Ssshhh. That and D+ cups do tend to be hard to control from what I've noticed. Weapons in and of themselves sometimes.
6. You're evil, how dare you exploit hetero males like that.

All in good fun. ;)

Whore-mone 2007-10-13 02:48:58

Sex sells. There are hundreds of perverse men who buy games like that just because of the mild nudity. Keep in mind there are hundreds of games in Japan that are 100% hentai. It's a horrible time for video games, and hopefully it'll end.

scahkruhtees 2007-10-14 03:43:26

I think the obvious message here is that cleavage-exposing characters are empowered characters.

....Right?

On a side note, would this be an appropriate time for a cock joke?

Cyberdevil 2007-11-14 11:32:49

I like boobs. Obviously games featuring female characters are of great intrest to male players, but the gameplay is still much more important. I've played all Tomb Raider games, even though the main character is appealing it's not one of my favorites. The games I love the most are still GTA SA, Doom, NFS and Mario 3, despite the main characters unfortunatly being men ( maybe the developers could do something about this issue in future releases? ). Lara Crofts boobs have shrunk a lot in later releases, nice picture btw.

The-Yokai 2007-11-29 22:10:18

It's worse in Dungeons and Dragons. Thank god those days are over... In my brief time as an uber-DnD-nerd, I still couldn't help thinking, "ARMOR, WOMAN! THAT ORC'S GOT AN AXE THE SIZE OF A FUCKING BUICK, AND YOU'RE STANDING THERE IN YOUR CHAINMAIL BRA, WAITING FOR HIM TO MINCE YOU!"
...like I said, thank god those days are over.